Under the Knife

Finally, after almost 3 months I will be going under the knife again.  I had my first surgery in February and then the removal in April.  The first week of July is going to be here FAST!  Im ready....but nervous!!  I kind of know what to expect, but every surgery is different.  I love my Dr!  I couldn't have picked a better Dr or Nurses.  They have all be more than amazing through this whole journey.  My Husband and Girlfriends have all been by my side through all of this as well.  I have TONS of support from my Parents, which is SUPER important to me!  I can't imagine not having anyone by my side throughout this journey.  They all help me get through the rough moments.  I can't wait until after surgery when I can feel normal and not like a "freak show" with 2 different sized boobs.  Sometimes I get self conscious about it and think that everyone can notice....when they probably can't!  Im not ashamed to tell anyone my story.  It is a bad thing that happened at no fault of anyones.  I have to deal with it.  And I have.  Im much stronger because of it.  BUT....Im SO excited to have this surgery over with.  :)

Love...

Im truly madly deeply in love with Mr Bill Denney.  He makes me complete.  When I am sad, he knows how to make me happy.  When he is gone, half of my heart is missing.  There are not enough words to describe how much I am in love with this man.  He is my whole world!  I can't think of anyone else that I would rather live the rest of my life with.  We don't always see eye to eye....but we work hard to stay happy and not fight.  We work everything out together.

Every morning, when his lips meet mine makes me know that everything will be ok.  The day will be great!  The little texts during the day to let me know that he is thinking of me...they make me get butterflies in my stomach.  The garage opening and Bill walking in the house....makes me realize that he is home and safe.  The moment when his hand meets mine while laying in bed watching TV...those cuddles are the best!!!  

How will I ever go without these little gestures while Bill is gone?  He's my rock.  Im not too sure how emotionally frail I will be.  Not having him home for a couple weeks at a time is not all that bad.  BUT, this time it is going to be for a LONG time.  How do I prepare myself to not have him here to lean on?  

When Bill is not home, I rely a LOT on my girlfriends.  They keep me sane.  I have NO clue what I would do without them.  Kelli, Allison, Dana, Erin, and Brandi...these girls are more like my Sisters.  We can and have talked about anything that we want to.  There are some TMI topics....but we all understand.  

I know that I can call on them at any moment and they will be there for me.....no matter what!  These girls are not my best friends, they are my Sisters!  We have developed amazing relationships.  It is so hard in a Military Community to find Women who are like you.....well, I have found 5 other crazy bitches!  We are our own type of special!  :)  Im not too sure what I will do when we all have to move.  We can't all stay here in Cali forever.  It is definitely going to be a sad, sad day.  Im sure that we will all cry!

These Girls definitely step in Bills spot when he isn't home.  Well, not all of Bills duties are fulfilled by them....wink, wink!  I love them like my sisters and they are all special to me.  My Kids are SO attached to all of these girls (and their families).  It will be heartbreaking when we are no longer all in the same neighborhood (except Dana).  

Girls....I love you all and I thank you so much for being in our lives.  You make everyday more special than the one before!  And....I love you all for making every day unique in our own kind of way!  :)

Bill...I love you with all of my heart and more.  I can't imagine my life without you in it!  You are my soul mate.  We will get through this Deployment....and be stronger than we are now.  Just don't forget....Im always your Lobster!  <3