Stay or Go...

At what point do you tell yourself that it is time to go?  

I don't know that answer.  I am still at a point that I want to stay.  

BUT, I can only hear so many times that he is ONLY staying because of the kids.  Is that fair?  Is it fair for either of us to put our lives on hold because of these 2 small humans?  

Im unsure of that answer as well.  

Can I live the next 13 years (or so) unhappily with a "roommate" just for my kids?  Will the kids suffer if that is the choice?  Will they be happier with both parents in the same house but living an unhealthy marriage or will they be happier with parents split apart and living separately?  

I have been doing tons and tons of research recently to hopefully get these answers.  And each link or book that I read has different outcomes.  

I want to be in this marriage not only for the kids, but to be a Husband and Wife.  But what happens when that is not what HE wants?  

In todays society it seems so easy for men to get up and walk away from their Wife and Kids.  And, this is mostly because the Mother usually gets sole custody of the children.  

After thinking about all of this the last few weeks, it is hard to make a choice.  A choice that is not only best for me but also for my kids.  They are not old enough to help make this choice.  

It is hard to decide what is best in the long run.  Only time will tell.  

But, I can guarantee that I cannot be the only one in the marriage that is putting in 100% effort and still getting none in return.  

You CANT be married for 13 years JUST for the kids.  It is unhealthy and not realistic.  

I guess I can say it is easier for me to have those thoughts because I am worried about the children and their well being.  The Fathers are who can pick up, leave, and only worry about themselves for the life.....not the kids because the Mother is the one taking care of them 99% of the time.

So, whatever the choice may be in our outcome HAS to be for our FAMILY.  Not just the kids.